


Return to the Fire Nation

by saintsfan165



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Love Confessions, Mother Figure Suki, Multi, Parent Zuko (Avatar), Past Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Past Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Protective Azula (Avatar), Protective Zuko (Avatar), Suki & Zuko (Avatar) Friendship, True Love, Zuko (Avatar) is a Good Parent, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:41:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25567621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saintsfan165/pseuds/saintsfan165
Summary: After nine years away, Suki returns to the nation that she once considered home to assist a mourning Zuko. There she must protect his daughter, the Crown Princess Izumi, even if it means losing her resolve and falling for the man she swore never to love again.
Relationships: Azula & Izumi (Avatar), Azula & Ursa & Zuko (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Iroh & Suki (Avatar), Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Izumi & Mai (Avatar), Izumi & Suki, Izumi & Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Suki & Ursa, Suki & Zuko (Avatar), Suki/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 107





	1. Summons from the Fire Lord

A loud, obnoxious knocking at the door woke Suki from her peaceful slumber. She peeled off the arm that was wrapped around her and went to make herself suitable. 

Shin stirred as she slipped away, groaning at her absence, mumbling for her to come back to bed. It'd been nearly a year since her and Shin had begun their relationship. At first it was purely sexual frustration and desire that led her into his arms. As a former scout for the Earth Kingdom army, he was quite renowned. A man of honor. 

Honor. She hated that word. It's what broke her heart nearly ten years ago. 

She opened the door and was greeted by someone she hadn't seen in a very long time. Shocked, but happy, she lunged at the, now grown, woman standing before her. "Nera?" The last time she had seen the girl was when she was only nine years old. She had come to Suki asking for advice on how to stop a boy from picking on her. The Fire Lord was with her at that time and immediately jumped at the spot to make sure the boys never picked on her again. 

As it was there was no form of accessible childcare for the woman, most of whom were widows. It had been a hard fought battle for free childcare and in the mean time he had allowed them to bring their kids with them. That's how Nera fit in. The Fire Lord decided that kids were bored easily, so he allowed them to do menial tasks such as run letters amongst the palace. Of course they had an adult escort to make sure that they letters did in fact get delivered because The Fire Lord also found out quickly that children get distracted easily. 

"It's an honor to see you once more Captain Suki," Nera said with a very formal tone. She hadn't been called Captain in a long, long time. 

"Please come in. How's your mother?" 

A dark look crossed over Nera's face. "My mother passed away two winter's ago. She fell sick with the flu and couldn't recover. But Lord Zuko gave her proper burial rights and honored her by naming one of the halls after her. She served three Fire Lord's in her life time and none other than Lord Zuko even bothered learning her name. It meant a lot to me that she'd be remembered by the Fire Lord's to come." 

"I'm sorry." Suki placed her arm gently on Nera's shoulder. Suki wished she had been there. Nera was a great girl and to have spent the last year and a half alone was troubling to here. The Fire Lord should've notified her. She would've gone to the ceremony, at least she hoped she'd be brave enough to return. "But how… how did your u find me?

"Lord Zuko has made sure that he knows where his friends and allies are at." 

Of course he did. 

"But I'm afraid that I'm not here on good fortunes. The Fire Lady Mai has passed away and Lord Zuko was hoping that you would accept his request to resume your former post as Protector of the Lord." 

Suki stepped back and processed the information. Mai was dead. "He doesn't need my protection." 

"The protection is not for him. It's for his daughter, Crown Princess Izumi. He fears for her and there's no one he trusts more than you." Suki nearly collapsed with guilt. How, after all the years could he still trust her?

...

_ "Mai wrote me today," Zuko said as the two laid together in Zuko's bed. Suki curled further into his chest, relishing the feel of him postcoital. He always made her feel safe and comfortable afterwards. "She seemed really nervous about something. Saying it was of the utmost importance. But I don't know what to do. We've been broken up for eight months now. And you and I-" _

_ "Love each other." It was knew for the both of them. They had found each other six months ago after a heated sparring match. Their emotions were on overload and neither of them truly remember who made the first move, they both know how much it meant for them. It wasn't strictly lust that drove them to each other. It was admiration, loyalty, trust, respect, desire, and love. Not to mention it felt long overdue between the two of them. For years while Zuko was on and off with Mai and Suki and Sokka tried long distance, the two of them seemed to be stuck in some sort of gravitational pull. The harder they tried to resist, the more insatiable the other became.  _

_ Still, Zuko sighed. "She said she's coming to visit. I just don't want her to think ill of you. Or us for that matter. We still haven't told anyone about us, although I think Kiyi is onto us and if she is, that means my mom is."  _

_ "Everything will be fine. I promise," she swore as she kissed his scar. "I'll be by your side always."  _

_ It was a promise she failed to keep. Mai had shown up the following morning… eight months pregnant. When she claimed that Zuko was the father, in the privacy of his office, they both knew it to be true. While being in their on and off again relationship, they still remained loyal to one another. Unless you accounted for the emotional cheating he and Suki committed during their late night sparring.  _

_ "I just. This isn't how it was supposed to happen. I want my child to not be judged as a bastard before they're even born. I want my child to be born differently." Mai exclaimed through her tears. Ty Lee was right beside Mai, comforting her and giving Suki a pitiful look as if she knew what was about to happen.  _

_ Later, after Mai had been calmed with some caramel tea and Ty Lee had taken her to her own chambers, Suki sat down with a disheveled Zuko. "It's okay. We'll figure this out."  _

_ "But what am I to do. Mai is right. Our child will be ostracized, they'll never be able to live a good life. Even if they were my child they'd never have a claim to my throne. What if my child turns into Azula and tries to hurt or kill my actual heir? What if they resent me for allowing them to be socially shunned? I made sure that children born out of wedlock aren't considered worthless or invalid. But they're still considered less than those born through marriage. I… I'm lost."  _

_ "Then claim it as yours," she suggested. _

_ "I can't. It would take the child away from Mai completely. The only way Mai could stay was if-" Zuko stopped. His eyes grew wide as he came to the logical, honorable conclusion.  _

_ "Unless you what?" Suki was nervous. She'd never seen Zuko look so terrified and hurt at the same time. "Zuko, unless what?"  _

_ "Unless I marry Mai."  _

_ Suki pulled away completely at a loss. Zuko… marrying Mai? But they… they were in love. She hadn't really thought about her and Zuko marrying since it was so fresh. But still, she thought of them in the future. She'd be lying to herself if she said she hadn't dreamed of them walking down the palace halls, a baby in their arms as a fireball of energy in the form of a child ran around them telling them about her lessons for the day. "But-"  _

_ "It's the only way to do this. I can't force Mai to give up her rights as a parent so I can raise the child. It's not fair to her or the kid. If I force her to do that, I… I'm no better than my father." Zuko sighed, defeated. He ran his hands through his hair. This was not how this night was supposed to go. How could he have been so foolish, irresponsible. He was barely nineteen and the aftershocks of the war were still prevalent.  _

_ "But what about us. You and I both know that what we have is real. It doesn't just go away. We love each other." She was being selfish, she knew. But she wasn't willing to throw away all of their memories of laughter, love, romance so easily. She was a warrior, a trained Captain of the Kyoshi Guard–a fighter. _

_ "This isn't about love. It's about doing the right thing, the honorable thing."  _

_ "Fuck honor Zuko!" Suki was shouting for the whole palace to hear by now. "Fucking hell, what is with you people and you're honor? You are without a doubt the most honorable man I know. You don't have to marry her for the sake of honor."  _

_ "It's not something I want to do Suki. This isn't what I want. It's what's needed, what I have to do. I'm thinking of my future." He rose to meet her, a fire in his eye that she hadn't seen since he first showed up on her island. Back when honor and hunting the Avatar was his sole focus. She took a step back in slight fear of him. Something she hadn't felt since then.  _

_ Zuko looked around him and realized the temperature in the room had risen, the flames had grown as his anger had. "I… this is the only way to do this. I-" he cut himself off as he sunk back down in the bed. "It's the only thing I can do. I-you need to understand this. Please," he finished, no louder than a whisper.  _

_ What pained her the most was that she did understand. She knew what this meant for him, for Mai, for her, and their relationship. "I can't stand by and watch you marry her."  _

_ "I need you in my life."  _

_ But it was too late. Suki knew that she wouldn't be able to watch him have a family while she lived amongst them. She knew she'd grow to secretly despise the young child who tore her and Zuko apart. It wouldn't be right. So in the dead of night she left Zuko a resignation letter and hopped on the first ship to the Earth Kingdom. Never to step foot in the Fire Nation again.  _

_ … _

Nera shifted uncomfortably as Suki stood there mouth agape. "I wish I could stay longer Captain, but I must return to the ship. We are scheduled for takeoff at noon. I do hope that you join us. Lord Zuko has been… distraught to say the least. And…" she trailed off, eyes averting Suki's own. "Things haven't been the same with him since it happened. My memory of you isn't much, but Lord Zuko always had a smile on his face with you." 

Suki took a step back. "I'm sorry Captain, it's too bold of me. But if I were allowed a voice in this. I wish you the best in your life, but I would ask you to come back if not for Lord Zuko but for the Crown Princess. She needs a protector, a mentor. You would be able to provide both. She needs…  _ someone.  _

"I'll think about it. And if my answer ends up being no. It was a pleasure to see you all grown up and I just know that your mother would be proud," Suki said with the utmost sincerity. 

Nera smiled, "The pleasure was all mine Captain." She bowed once more and departed, leaving Suki to ponder her decision. 

Suki heard footsteps approach her. Shin was finally up. "Morning babe, who was that?" She felt his muscled arms wrap around her torso. "Someone important enough to drag you away from bed." He gently pulled her close and sensually kissed her bare shoulder up to her neck.

"A summons from the Fire Lord. A messenger, an old friend really." Although calling her a friend wasn't necessarily true, it was still nice to see Nera. 

"A summons," Shin laughed soundly. Suki liked his laugh. Shin laughed with his whole body. It highlighted his best features. His cute nose, greenish amber eyes, and his shaggy brown curls. "Sounds serious." 

"The Fire Lady has passed and their Lord has asked that I return to resume my post to protect his daughter." When she said it aloud, she realized how desperate Zuko was. It'd been nearly nine years of no communication between the two of them. He truly wanted her there. 

"That's unfortunate. But he has a million guards to protect that bastard of his. I mean-" 

Suki broke free from his grasp. "What did you call her?" 

"Uh, a bastard?" Shin looked at her confused, unsure of how she got so defensive over a child she never met. 

"How could you call a little girl something so terrible?" 

"Well you know the rumours that have been circulating around her ever since her birth. You were there. You would know that she most likely is one." He said so nonchalantly that Suki couldn't believe how terrible he truly was at the moment. And in that moment she understood what Zuko meant. Shin had no idea what this little girl was like, what she loved, what she was scared of, what made her laugh, and he judged her just because of the circumstances of her birth. 

"I'm going," she said so matter of factly that it left no room for argument. 

"But-" 

"I'm going Shin. A little girl and her father need my help, I'm answering the call." She marched to her closet and dragged out the large chest that's sat at the bottom of her closet. She then went back in and pried open a floorboard where the key she had placed lay. With the key she opened the chest she has kept locked for almost a decade. Inside was her well worn Kyoshi Warrior outfit, headpiece, and fan. She had practiced her forms regularly, but nowhere near as often as she had when she was with The Fire Lord. 

"Babe. Don't make any rash decisions. We have a good life here. One of simplicity and ease." Shin tried to persuade her but it was of no use. She was tired of simplicity. She was tired of pretending that she was happier with the path she chose. She was tired of not having Zuko in her life. 

When noon came, Suki approached the remodeled war balloon where she saw Nera waiting with a smile on her face. 

"Welcome aboard Captain Suki." 

And for the first time in nine years, she felt like herself again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I truly love Mai as a character and I like her and Zuko together but she had to go. I'm sorry. I will explore their forced marriage life in flashbacks with Zuko throughout the story. But this is a Zuko/Suki and a Zuko&Suki&Izumi story. 
> 
> Enjoy.


	2. Death of A Fire Lady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for childbirth complications, miscarriage, and blood.

Zuko paced back and forth nervously as he waited for this Agni forsaken birth to end. With Izumi it was much less of a concern. 

They had tried for another child, having fallen into a sort of love that only came with parenting. They would never love each other like they did when they were lovesick teens, but staring into the eyes of their daughter's mother/father, well there was something special there. So they formed a strong, everlasting bond as they raised Izumi. There would be nights where they would have a bit to drink, or a heated exchange that lead to them being more than just parents and more partners. But they were far and few between. And they happened enough times that Mai had fallen pregnant four years prior to this one. 

But there were complications with Mai's last pregnancy, and it nearly cost them her life as well. Something had happened during the eight month of her second pregnancy, Mai had gone into labor. They had to get the child out immediately in order to save them both. The child, unfortunately, was dead. Placental abruption, the healers had called it. Mai's placenta had separated from her uterus. 

Izumi was too young to remember, all she did was question when her mommy was going to feel better. And a month later when Mai was finally up and moving again, Izumi was happy "mom was skinny again" it was the only way she could wrap her arms around her. It made Zuko's heart swell that even in disaster, Izumi could still get his wife to smile. A feat that he rarely accomplished. 

But now, here, another four years later, Zuko couldn't help but think of what happened then. "Daddy!" Izumi's voice echoed through the halls, pulling him out of his mind. 

Zuko smiled as he knelt down to greet his little princess. Izumi was without question, the greatest thing to ever happen to him. He constantly questioned if he had made the right decision choosing Mai and their child over his love for Suki. But one look at the screaming, chubby little baby was all it took for him to know he made the right choice. When he held his daughter and she wrapped her little hand around one of his fingers, it was like he had never felt true happiness until that moment. It didn't matter that he was young, and a ruler of a country that just finished trying to destroy the world a few years prior. In that moment he was just a father. A father who loved his child unconditionally. 

That evening he went to visit the man who was once his father. "I held my first-born today. She lacks the fire in her according to the dates, but oddly enough, I would die for her… without question. So how could you call me lucky to be born? I can't believe you were pathetic enough to think that an infant was shameful just because they didn't show the immediate promise of bending." Zuko laughed cruelly. "I can't believe I ever wanted your love and affection. It shouldn't have been hard to love me. But then again, you were lucky to have me as a son. Otherwise, you'd be long dead." He turned to walk away. "I'm sending you to the northern water tribe tomorrow. They built a prison for the most dangerous benders. Ice and darkness is all you'll see until your dying days. Goodbye father. I'll send Azula your regards." 

Izumi wasn't even a day old and yet she had already given him the courage to stand up to his father once and for all. To no longer let Ozai deceive him, to manipulate him. He had something worth dying for, worth fighting for. 

As he stared at his daughter's face and lightly pinched her chubby little cheeks she hadn't yet grown out of, he was reminded of that moment. Izumi gave him strength, she gave him the world. "What is it my little turtleduck?"

"Is my baby brother here yet? I wanna give him baby Druk!" She exclaimed, pulling out her favorite stuffed dragon. "Druk can protect him while he sleeps." Zuko's heart swelled at his daughter's kindness. How could he, a man who had to fight so hard to be good, produce something so pure and kind hearted as Izumi. He tried not to let his tears fall, but she was just too precious. "Daddy? Are you okay?" 

Zuko laughed, as he pulled his daughter in for another hug and kissed her head. At eight years old she was a near spitting image of Azula at that age. Except where Azula had shown cruelty and malice, Izumi showed love and compassion for all. "I just want you to know that you're going to be the best big sister in the world." 

Two sets of footsteps approached from behind him. "Sorry Zuzu, she's quicker than she looks," Ty Lee teased as her and Azula appeared behind them. 

Zuko turned to greet his family. "It's okay. She just wanted-" 

"I wanted to give Roku baby Druk!" Izumi answered as she showed off her stuffed toy. Ty Lee swooned at the adorableness, and even Azula smiled at the gesture. 

"You could just burn it and then give it to him so it's not as soft," Azula added. Zuko shot her a look. "I was only joking Zuzu." 

Izumi giggled, "you're funny auntie Zula." 

"Yes, I suppose I am." Azula opened her side up for Izumi to hug. "Come now Izumi. I'm sure that with your mommy and daddy busy, there's no one guarding the secret stash of chocolate. And maybe I'll show you some of my best firebending moves. Only for the best of benders. Moves your father can't even do." Azula gave Zuko a look that way equal parts pride and tease. 

Izumi eagerly agreed. Treats and firebending with the best firebender in the world, and she'd get to be a big sister. It was shaping up to be a wonderful day for her. 

Once the trio had vanished down the hallway, Zuko was left alone with his thoughts. The distraction his daughter and his family brought had quickly ended and he was left dreading the terrible possibilities a second child could bring. He knew it wasn't possible, but what if this one turned out to be like Azula in her youth. Would she help show him the way to being the best? Or would she fall back into old habits and let him be terrible. But what Roku had that Azula didn't was loving parents. His mother was so excited to have him in her life, and his father was going to see him as more than just a tool to gain more power. Roku was going to be loved unconditionally, just like Izumi. 

"Lord Zuko?" A servant asked from behind him. He turned to face the young man who was no older than eighteen. "Doctor Vu has requested your presence immediately. It's the Fire Lady sire, something has happened. She's-" 

Zuko didn't wait for him to finish. He took off in a full blown sprint to the birthing chamber. Not Mai, not his child. Anything but this. He staggered towards the double doors where he saw Head Doctor Vu standing there talking to his mother. Ursa had a solemn look on his face. He stormed the door, pushing past two of the assisting servants. "Out of my way. I need to see my wife. My child is in there. I need-" his mother stood before him. 

"My son. I-" she broke, tears prevalent. "You shouldn't-" 

Zuko couldn't listen. He had to see her. She had to be okay. Her and Roku had to be okay. She was fine, the baby was fine. When Katara had visited a month ago she said everything was fine! He pushed past his mother and Vu and rammed the door that kept him from his family. 

Red. That was the first thing he noticed. The reddened sheets pooled around Mai's knees, the darkest parts being between her legs. 

White. It was what he noticed next. Mai was pale even by fire nation standards, but this… was unnatural. The life from her had faded leaving behind a pale replacement of the woman he cared for. 

Gold. It was the last thing he noticed, but the one that pained him the most. In a small crib beside his deceased wife was a small figure wrapped from head to toe in gold silk. The first step in a royal funeral. One that he had done before for his lost child four years ago. 

Zuko dropped to his knees and cried, letting out a guttural wail. Immediately, his mother kneeled beside him and pulled her close, allowing Zuko to sob into her shoulders. "This isn't fair. How could Agni let this happen to me. I've worked so hard to repair the sins done by my ancestors." 

"Things happen for a reason my son. Even tragedies such as this. You're a good person Zuko, but sometimes bad things happen to good people." She assured him as she stroked his back. 

"And this wasn't already proof enough of my suffering?" He yelled, pulling away and pointing to the scar on his face. "What would you know of suffering? You ran away and left your children to suffer! And instead of dealing with the guilt, you chose to just forget us!" All his deepest feelings were coming to the surface before he had even realized what he said, his mother looked down with shame. 

"And I love every day with the regret of my choices. I do my best to be there for you now. I know you deserve better, a better life, a better mother, I-" she choked down another son, but the damage was done. Zuko had sworn to never harm his family again, and yet he had just done it. 

Zuko tried to control his pain, his tears, and now his anger. "I… I'm sorry mother. I didn't mean it." Truly, he hadn't. He had forgiven his mother a long time ago. 

"No Zuko, you're grieving. It's only fair," Ursa said, wiping away her tears as she looked up at her son. She could see it in his eyes that he was a changed man. Something in him was broken. She hadn't seen that look since Captain Suki had left him. 

"No it's not. I shouldn't have said those things. You're here now. And I need you here. Izumi and I-" he paused, eyes widening as he remembered his daughter. "Agni, Izumi. How am I… what am I supposed to tell her?" 

"The truth. That her mother is up in the heavens with Agni watching after her brother and sister." 

Zuko nodded and sent word for his sister and Ty Lee to take Izumi to her chambers. Ursa would tell Azula and Ty Lee. He needed to be there for Izumi. "Now go talk to her. I will take care of Mai and Roku." Ursa opened the door back into the hall and looked to Nera who was one of the trusted palace members to help aid in Fire Lady Mai's death. "Fetch the Fire Sages and start preparations for a royal funeral." Nera bowed and quickly left. Zuko stumbled out of the room, still looking a mess. "Freshen up dear, and go see your daughter. She will need you to be strong." 

And he found himself standing outside his daughter's room, dreading everything that was about to come. Izumi understood death, she had a few pets that passed away but this was her mother. She was barely nine years old and he had to tell her that she could never hug her mother again. That mommy wouldn't be there to tuck her in every night like she always did. Izumi couldn't show off her new firebending skills to her mother to make sure that her dad would be proud of her. It was something he hated that Izumi felt she needed to do. But Mai told him that she just wanted to be perfect like him since he was her favorite firebender. Zuko always laughed at that because he was, if anything, far from perfect. 

He gently opened the door and noticed Izumi writing in her notebook. Kiyi was sitting with her, watching over her, correcting her grammar. He cleared his throat and both the girls turned to him. His sister cast him a sad look, no doubt knowing the truth. He gave her a subtle nod and rustled izumi's onyx hair before telling her she'd see her in the morning. When she passed Zuko she placed a hand on his chest and he saw a tear fall down her cheek. "I'm sorry," was all she could manage to say before slipping out of the room.

Zuko walked to her desk and took a seat on her bed that lay beside it. "Hey turtleduck. What are you doing?"

"Writing rules for Roku. He needs to know how to take care of baby Druk." Zuko fought back the urge to cry. Izumi was so excited to be a big sister. Now she'd never get the chance. 

"Why don't we go out to the garden? It's a full moon and the fireflies will surely be roaming the skies." He was soft spoken, unsure of himself for the first time since Izumi was born. 

"Am I in trouble?" 

Zuko wanted to laugh, she had caught on. He often took her to the garden when she needed to be taught important lessons like lying, stealing, respect, how to treat others. "No sweetie. I just have to talk to you about mommy and Roku." 

"Okay," Izumi said none the wiser. They took the long way, giving Zuko time to figure out how to tell his daughter. 

Once they reached the garden, Zuko took her by the hand and guided them to the bench. They sat in silence for some time as Izumi waited for her dad to speak. "This is about mom and Roku." 

"Can I see them?" She asked eagerly, a smile on her face. How many times could Zuko successfully fight off tears without breaking in front of his daughter. 

"One day you will see them. A long ways away from now." 

Izumi tilted her head in confusion. "You're being weird daddy." 

A tear dropped from Zuko's cheek, threatening to unleash the dam he was holding back. "There was a complication. Mommy was hurt and she tried to save Roku, but Roku was hurt too. Mommy and Roku are with Agni now. They're there with your baby sister and all our ancestors that love us." 

Izumi didn't look at him. Instead she stared out into the reflection of the moon in the pond. "Is it because of me?" She finally asked. 

Zuko was appalled. How could she think that her mother dying in childbirth was her fault? "No. Never. Why would you think it's your fault darling?" He put his hand on her shoulder but she shrugged it off. 

"Is it because I'm a b-bassard?" A few candles lit a blaze behind them. Zuko hated that word. Izumi wasn't a bastard. She may have been conceived out of wedlock, but she was born in it. She had a rightful claim. "I heard some of the old guys you talk to saying that I was." 

Zuko lifted his daughter up from her seat and pulled him close. "Never. You're perfect the way you are. Your mom didn't want to leave you, but Agni needed her. She had to protect Ravi and Roku. But she will always love you." He pulled her away, but still kept her on his lap. "And she'll always be with you. In here," he pointed to her head, "you'll always be able to remember her. And in here," his finger pushed softly against her heart, "here you will always be able to love her. And when you look up into the clear night sky, you can find the brightest and shiniest of stars and you will know that she is watching over you." He pointed up at the northern star. 

Izumi started to cry. "But I want her here." Zuko pulled her back into his chest. 

"I do too. But she's gone. But she would want us to be happy. To live and smile and laugh and all the things you love to do. Can you do that?" 

Izumi wiped away some tears and nodded. "Good." Zuko held her as she cried well into the night. He would have his time to grieve on his own, but his daughter needed him. After the moon had well passed it's zenith, Izumi finally settled down. "Now are you sleepy?" Izumi nodded. "Well let's get you to bed. I will take you to see mommy tomorrow to say goodbye." 

"Can I-can I sleep with you tonight daddy?" 

Zuko smiled inwardly. "Of course." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that while Zuko chose the honorable choice to marry Mai it wouldn't mean that it would be a bad marriage. They cared for each other before and having Izumi only amplified that. He had told Mai of his love for Suki and she understood. 
> 
> They didn't have a lot of sex but they did have it. They loved each other and sometimes they just needed to make each other feel loved. This was not and unhealthy relationship by any means, just an unconventional one. Basically a fake dating au but they have a kid and do love each other (just not how they used to as teens).


	3. The Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suki steps foot on fire nation soil for the first time in nine years.

You'd find more cheer in a graveyard. At least that's what Suki thought when they arrived in the Fire Nation. It was an unusually cold and cloudy day in the Fire Nation. The once loud, lively streets were silent. An aura of sadness washed over her. She was reminded of Ty Lee, thinking of auras. She wondered if the bubbly girl was still in the palace or if she had left as well. If she was still the same girl she had known when she left. 

If Zuko was still the same.

"It is customary for the nation to mourn the passing of a member of the royal family for a full week," Nera explained upon seeing Suki's questioning look. "But with the loss of Prince Roku as well, the nation will be mourning for a fortnight." 

Suki looked wide eyed at her traveling companion. Zuko had lost a child as well as Mai. He must be in so much pain. "Yes it is painful for Lord Zuko but he has been doing his best to push on. But this is different. Last time he wasn't so… scary."

"Last time?" Suki asked, knowing already what Nera had to be referring to. 

"Yes. Prince Roku was the third child of Lord and Lady Zuko and Mai. Four years ago they were expecting their second child, a princess. But she was premature, coming out a month early. There were also complications with that birth and Lady Mai almost lost her life in the process. The chief medical officer at the time told our rulers that they would never be able to have children again. But little prince Roku was supposed to be a miracle. A prince gifted to our Lord and his wife by Agni himself. It was not to be." Nera sighed as she signaled the flight crew to take their things ahead of them. "Come Captain. I'm sure the Fire Lord is awaiting your presence. Although," Nera eyed her. "If you first wish to change into your Kyoshi armour, I would understand." 

Suki shook her head, "no that's alright. I want to see Zu-The Fire Lord as soon as possible." Might as well get it over with. No point in delaying the inevitable. But still, she was nervous. What do you say to your ex love whom you haven't said a word to since you ran away in the middle of the night. 

She followed Nera through the great halls. Not much had changed since she left. But where once the halls were aligned with vibrant reds and royal golds, now only black was shown. As she walked down the hall, a rush of memories filled her head. Memories of her and Zuko sneaking around giggling like children as they looked for the best spot to explore each other's bodies. Past images of her drinking tea with Iroh and Ursa while Kiyi spent time with Zuko showing off her new skills. Or the time when Zuko was visiting Aang and Katara so Ty Lee taught all the girls how to chi block and Sena turned it into a game of tag. Paralyzed Kyoshi guard bodies littered the palace floors, laughing at the fun they were having. 

Suki was so lost in the hundreds of memories that she hadn't even noticed they were outside the throne room. Nera knocked and they heard a voice telling them to enter. It didn't sound like Zuko. 

The grand doors opened and the two women entered. A few guards followed in suit behind them. There she saw Zuko in all his royalty. He looked so different than the last time she had seen him. No longer did he adorn the colors of royalty, instead he wore black as well. His long hair that was once down past his shoulders was back to the shaggy look he had as a teenager. She remembered him once telling her that hair in the Fire Nation was directly correlated with honor. So why was his so short all of a sudden? 

Zuko hadn't even bothered looking up from his scrolls. "What is it?" 

Nera knelt down onto one knee and bowed her head. "My Lord, as requested I have brought Captain Suki." 

The papers dropped from Zuko's visibly shaking hands. He looked up and their eyes met. Suki suddenly found herself wishing she had never come back. A near decade worth of heartache and guilt rushed into her heart. Within his eyes she saw his anger, pain, agony but most importantly, his sadness and confusion. "What is the meaning of this?" He yelled in Nera's direction. Suki felt the immediate urge to come to Nera's defense, but she knew she couldn't confront Zuko here and now. 

Nera dropped her other knee and bowed so low her nose touched the floor. "My apologies Lord but I was just doing as you commanded." Suki wanted to scoff at Zuko. Since when had he ever "commanded" anything. 

"I did no such thing. Why would you think I would want-" he paused, directing his attention back to Suki. "Why would I want a retired Captain to be here? Captain Ty Lee has been doing and admirable job and does not need the assistance from the likes of her." 

"But my Lord I… I don't understand," Nera quietly said, still afraid to look up at her Lord. 

"Who gave you my orders?" Zuko waited, but found his temper growing short and instead yelled at her for taking too long. "Speak!" 

"The queen mother my Lord." Nera was trembling at this point. Suki was writhing with anger now. Zuko had no right to make her feel this way. Subject or not, Nera was just a girl who was doing as she was asked by apparently Lady Ursa. 

"That's enough," Suki snapped. "You and I both know that she was most likely tricked by your mother to bring me here. As to why? Well I see why now. Look at her. The girl is barely yet an adult and she is trembling with fear that she's going to be severely punished for doing what she was asked." She rose and stood in front of Nera. "What makes you think she deserves this treatment?" 

Zuko rose to meet her challenge. Pure anger as smoke flew from his nostrils and mouth. The flames that aligned the walls grew to reach the ceiling. "You think you have the right to speak to me like that? You, who ran away in the middle of the night. Who hasn't so much as written in concern of your well being in nine fucking years! Learn your place!" 

Suki realized she was in over her head… she should never have come here to begin with. She threw away her relationship with a great man just because he so much as bad-mouthed the Fire Lord's family. She truly believed that she could help. What a mistake that was. 

"My son," Ursa's melancholic voice echoed from one of the doors to Suki's left. For the first time in over a decade she saw the woman who almost died saving her. 

…

_ "Lady Ursa, we must get you to safety." Suki whispered as she escorted Zuko's mother through the palace. This latest coup had actually made its way into the palace. Zuko had forced her to leave his side and make sure that his mother was safe. He needed to find Kiyi and make sure she was safe. Suki wanted to fight him and tell him no, that her job was to protect him. But Zuko begged her to find his mom and get her to safety. She couldn't say no to him even if she wanted to. She'd die for him, she could at least make sure Ursa was safe.  _

_ "But what of my son? Is he safe?"  _

_ Suki wanted to lie, but she knew better to lie to Ursa. "He went to check on his sister, your daughter. He wanted to make sure Kiyi was safe. So he forced me to come protect you."  _

_ Ursa put a hand on Suki's shoulder to force Suki to actually look back at her. "Which I am grateful for. But your duty is to my son. His life is more valuable than my own."  _

_ Suki looked down in defeat. "I know that. But he entrusted me to look after you. I can't… I won't let him down."  _

_ She felt Ursa's hand creep from her shoulder to her face as the older woman cupped her cheek. "I know dear. I know." And Suki felt like there was a double meaning in her words. As if she knew of Suki's feelings for her charge. Her and Zuko were the best of friends and it never felt like it was her job to be with him when they were together. It just felt like two people who cared about each other, just hanging out. "Do you know the way to the Royal Safe Room?" Ursa finally asked after half a minute of silence.  _

_ "No," she answered, shaking her head. "Lead the way. But stay close." She said firmly. If anything happened to Ursa, Suki would never be able to live with herself.  _

_ The two women quickly and quietly made their way through the palace thanks to Ursa's knowledge and Suki's senses. Twice she had prevented them from being caught by a group of rebels. Suki had seen a lot during her time as a warrior. The battle against Ozai, a few Agni Kai's that Zuko had attended (two to which he had taken part in), and even one very close assassination attempt that if it wasn't for Mai's phenomenal aim with her daggers (Suki still had the cut on her ear as proof of that accuracy) would have been successful. But this coup took the cake. The palace was burning, innocents, guards, and rebels blood stained the floors and walls, and the smell of burnt flesh flowed freely through the halls.  _

_ "This is it," Ursa said after they descended into the catacombs. "I hope Zuko got to Kiyi and Noren in time to take them here." Sukj gave Ursa's hand a sympathetic squeeze. _

_ "I know he has. Zuko is the most determined person I know. When he sets his mind and focuses on a goal, nothing will stop him." The flames that lit the catacombs were dying, but they were bright enough for Suki to see Ursa smile. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but Suki could've sworn she saw a hint of something else in Ursa's eyes but she accounted it to the situation and her mind playing tricks on her.  _

_ After a few seemingly random turns, Ursa had led them to the Royal Safe Room. Suki wasn't sure what she was expecting, but she wasn't expecting the skull of a dragon to be the entrance. They made their way closer and Suki grabbed one of the low dimmed torches. Upon her examination, she saw that there were no handles or anything. Instead she saw a series of holes in the door. Hesitantly she reached her hand into one of the holes and after going all the way to her elbow, felt a lever. She was about to pull it when Ursa pulled her arm back out. "They can only be activated if you know the proper combination, and only through firebending. Suki realized then that they were royally fucked. They'd be sitting turtleducks, goatlambs to the slaughter, they'd be–Ursa's hand lit with a low, white flame–okay?  _

_ Suki's eyes grew wide and Ursa saw the questions on the tip of her tongue. "It's not something I like to do. When I first met Ozai he forced me to demonstrate my bending by setting fire to my family's barn with our livestock still inside otherwise he'd burn by home with my family inside. After that, after hearing my beloved pets crying in pain as they were burnt alive, I couldn't bring myself to do it again. It felt tainted." Suki then wondered if she ever shared that story with Zuko. She felt like if she had, Ozai wouldn't be rotting away in a cell somewhere down here in the catacomb. Instead he'd be in some unmarked grave in the Earth Kingdom.  _

_ Ursa then but her engulfed hand into four different holes and pulled the levers. The door creaked open as the ground beneath them shook slightly. Suki had never been truly at a loss for words, but seeing the copious amounts of gold, gems, diamonds, armor, and weapons collections inside left her speechless. There was also a fair amount of scrolls littered around the various chairs and desks. It reminded her of the ancient library Sokka had told her he and the gang had visited in their youth. "Wow," was all she could audibly say.  _

_ She was in such awe that she didn't even hear the sound of a crossbow bolt heading straight at her. "Look out!" Ursa cried as she pushed Suki out of the way, taking the bolt in her shoulder as she did. While only hitting Ursa in the shoulder, the bolt would have landed directly in the small opening of her Kyoshi Warrior armor, most likely ripping through her like it did with Ursa. The shot would have killed her.  _

_ Suki sprang into action, picking up the near dead torch and tossing it in the direction of the shooter. As she charged she was just able to make out the figure of her attacker before the flame flickered out. She hurled her fan at him, hoping that the bladed edge would be enough to penetrate whatever armor the attacker was wearing. At the very least it would force him to dodge and be off balance.  _

_ However, it didn't matter. A blast of fire came from behind the attacker and quickly caught him off guard allowing her fan to lodge itself in the attacker's neck. They released a deep yell of agony as another blast of fire was shot, igniting the man's clothes. He was too weak to fight the flames with the fan in his neck and he collapsed. Through the flames of the burning course she saw two figures approach. Zuko was carrying an unconscious and bruised Kiyi as a limping Ty Lee used him as support. Realizing it was friendlies, she turned her attention back to Ursa who was leaning against the wall, holding her shoulder that was no longer bleeding thanks to Ursa cauterizing it.  _

_ "My sweets," she painstakingly said through gritted teeth. _

_ Zuko had a solemn look on his face. "Noren… he… Kiyi was in trouble," he couldn't finish the words as he choked down a sob. "I found Ty fighting off the rest of the attackers by herself after he fell, Kiyi was already knocked out." Zuko then came to realize that his mother was injured. "Mother!" He shouted, handing Kiyi to Suki and dropping down beside her. "What happened?"  _

_ "Oh it was silly of me. Captain Suki told me to get inside when she heard footsteps but I wanted to stand and fight. Guess I'm not as strong as I thought." She chuckled before grasping her shoulder as Zuko helped her up. "And you're certain my husband is…" she trailed off as Zuko looked down at his feet, nodding. "I see." Suki watched as Ursa regained her emotions and fought off the grief of losing another person she loved.  _

_ "The fighting is over mother. The rebels have been vanquished, the leader caught. One of Ozai's former generals whom I fired." Zuko sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. "This is all my fault," he said crestfallen. "I will make sure Noren has all the royal funerary rights given. I'll-" _

_ "No," Ursa interrupted. "No. We will take him back to Hira'a and he will be given the rights of his, of our community."  _

…

After Noren's funeral, Ursa had pulled Suki to the side and explained that she lied to protect Zuko. He would be devastated to know that Suki would've died. It wasn't until much later that Suki understood what she had meant. It was also the last time she had seen the woman; whispering riddles and making Suki more confused than ever. 

Now, Ursa looked regal than when she had lived in Hira'a. She had told her son that her and Kiyi would be coming to live with Zuko once Kiyi was ready to leave Hira'a behind and live in the palace. She looked, much like Zuko, so different. Well aged, like a fine wine, as her grey hair flowed freely as she walked. 

"Mother! What is the meaning of this?" Suki wanted to laugh. Zuko sounded so much like his old angsty teen self. 

"I told Miss Nera that you needed assistance." Zuko opened his mouth to speak. "And don't deny or lie to me son. No one should have to do this alone." 

"But I don't need  _ her, _ " Zuko said like Suki was a stain he wanted to rid himself of. 

"Of course you don't. But what of Izumi?" Suki looked at Nera who hadn't even looked back up from her bowed position. "Nera, sweetie. You may leave us. My daughter is looking for you. Something about a boy named Xin?" Ursa explained to which Nera blushed. 

"Yes queen mother-I mean Lady Ursa." Nera bowed to Ursa, gave a deeper bow to Zuko, and offered a shy smile to Suki, wishing her good luck before making a quick exit. 

Suki turned her attention back to the bickering mother and son who were talking too quiet for her to hear. All she was able to make out were, "stay?" "need this" "ran away" "loved" and eventually a, "very well". 

Zuko turned his attention to Suki for the first time since she had entered the throne room. "I will allow you to watch after my daughter. Allow my mother to show you to your room and you will get ready for dinner. There you will meet the crown princess. But, if she doesn't want you, which, why would she–all you do is run away from hard situations. Then you will be on the first ship, zeppelin, or even mongoose-lizard out of the palace. Is that understood  _ Captain?"  _

Suki took a deep breath. This was her chance to just turn away and go back to the life she had made for herself.  _ All you do is run away from hard situations.  _

"Yes Lord Zuko." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to touch on Ursa's relationship with Suki. Also wanted to add my little HC that Ursa was actually a firebender but seeing Ozai use it for his own selfish gains made her not use it. 
> 
> As for the flashback. It was around two years after Zuko assumed the throne. So about six months before Suki and Zuko finally get together. 
> 
> Next chapter will be the introduction to most likey the most important relationship in the story.


	4. Dinner with A Princess

Ursa said nothing as she led Suki away from Zuko. Everything that has just happened was still too much to process for her. Sure she expected Zuko to be a little put out by her arrival, but she hadn't expected… well she hadn't expected whatever the fuck that was. 

Once they arrived at the guest quarters, it was clear that she had been placed in one of the more… basic of rooms. The Fire Nation palace had the grandest of all other nations when it came to their guest rooms and accomodations. There was a room that was bigger than the entirety of the South Pole when Suki had first come to visit–before the northerners migrated south to help rebuild. As soon as Ursa closed the door behind them, Suki opened her mouth to speak but Ursa beat her to it. 

"Please don't think ill of my son. It's been a difficult time," she said earnestly. "He doesn't have anyone by his side for this. Izumi has been quiet and distant. Azula and Ty Lee took some time away to process the loss of their friend. And I will be taking Kiyi back to Hira'a in a few days. The ten year anniversary of my husband's death is approaching and we must prepare for the town celebration." Ursa walked passed Suki and slumped down into the chair next to the stationery desk. 

The exhaustion on Ursa's face was prevalent. Suki couldn't begin to imagine what was going through the older woman's mind. Her son is grieving, losing himself in the process. Her daughter in law is gone along with two of her grandchildren. Not only that, but the ten year anniversary of her beloved husband's death was upon them. Ursa had the strength of a badgermole. "It still doesn't excuse how he treated Nera." 

"No it doesn't," Ursa sighed. Clearly, she had had this conversation with Zuko prior. "His short temper was never something he could rid himself of. But now, it's like a short fuse. One small spark is all it takes. I was hoping that maybe the shock in the system of seeing you was going to be enough to at least make him be more polite." Ursa began to cry. "I was wrong. If anything I've made it worse. Just like I have been since it happened."

It was the first time since meeting Ursa that Suki had seen her cry. It broke her heart. She gently knelt down and placed her hand over Ursa's that were buried in her robes. "That isn't true. You're his mother. Being here is making it better." 

"I just don't know how to help my son? I've failed as a mother…" she said between sobs. 

There was a tentative knock on the door which took them both out of their sorrow. "...mom? I… are you in here?" 

Suki walked to the door as Ursa made herself decent, trying to hide the tear lines on her face. "Kiyi?" Suki asked as the door opened to reveal a sixteen year old girl who looked so familiar, yet so, so different. Gone were the chubby cheeks and the cute bob that made Kiyi the cutest little girl in the Fire Nation. Instead stood a beautiful, fully grown girl with thin cheeks and flowing brown hair tied into a ponytail. 

"C-captain Suki?" Kiyi could've caught flies her mouth was so far agape. "H-how, what are you doing here?" 

Suki gave a slight smirk. "Your mom wanted me to cheer your brother up." 

"But he like hates you!" She let slip before covering her mouth with her hand. "I mean. He doesn't hate you. He just…" 

"I'm aware. I just showed up unannounced and well let's just say he looked like he'd seen a ghost." Suki laughed thinking back on Zuko's initial reaction. He was so pale and terrified, even if it was only for a split second. 

Kiyi laughed lightly. It was good to hear someone laughing. Since she had arrived, everyone talked no louder than a whisper, talked through tears, or shouted at poor young girls. "Mom that was a terrible idea." Even Ursa gave up her downturn mood and let out a small chuckle. 

"I guess you're right. But it's too late now." Kiyi tilted her head in confusion. "Suki is going to stick around and look after our little princess." Kiyi eyed her mother with concern. 

"Is that the best idea? Izumi has been… difficult lately." 

"I'm up for it," Suki said earnestly. Despite how rude Zuko was earlier, she couldn't just turn her back on a little girl. "Do you think she'll like me though?" 

Kiyi smiled, she looked so much like her brother when he smiled it made her take a step back. Zuko had only been a few years older than Kiyi when she had last seen him smile like that. "Well she loves her auntie's," she explained proudly. "All of us." Kiyi leaned in close as if to share a secret. "But I'm pretty certain that Ty Lee is her favorite because Izumi like loves to dress up as Kyoshi warriors. So just be Captain Suki again and she'll be like all over you! Maybe you'll even get her to smile!" 

"So she took after Mai?" Suki teased and immediately regretted it. 

"Izumi is the happiest little girl you'll ever meet. She loves and cares about all beings. From the smallest turtleduck to the great and mighty Avatar. It's just… she hasn't opened up and talked to anyone except Bumi II since the funeral." Suki gave Ursa a look that begged the woman to further explain. "Avatar Aang and his eldest son came to show their sympathies, as well as Chief Sokka. Both masters Toph and Katara were to pregnant to travel. But Izumi and Bumi II had always gotten along and we saw them talking. But when Aang asked his son about it, Bumi said he was sworn to a best friend pinky promise. So Aang chose to respect the children's wishes." 

With this information, Suki knew her task. Come dinner she'd be ready. Come dinner, she'd get Izumi to talk to her. 

* * *

It was different, being a guest at the Fire Lord's dinner table. Most of her time spent in the dining hall was by Zuko's side, watching for any possible threats. It was exhausting at first. Zuko had been so paranoid that any random sound would make him jump and send the girls out to investigate. More than once were they sent to investigate a few owlbats that were living in the trees near the balcony. One time they even found a baby bearcat. Kiyi had taken to it quickly, claiming she was its mother now. Of course the creature had gotten too big so they had to release it back into the wild. 

But being here, now, sitting at the main table in full Kyoshi gear… it didn't feel natural to her. She should be standing by the door waiting for Zuko to enter and take his place. Instead she saw two Kyoshi warriors whom she did not recognize standing by the doorway. She turned back to the table to greet everyone else who was seated. 

To her right was an empty chair and Zuko's chair at the head of the table. To her left hunched over beside her was a small elderly man. No doubt one of the elder councilmen she hated. They always disapproved of her and the girls staying at the palace. They feared it would show the Fire Lord as weak, but we're soon proven wrong when the other nations saw that the new Fire Lord was willing to let Earth Kingdom warriors protect him. Instead they saw Zuko as someone willing to bring peace and unity to the three nations. In front of her was Kiyi and Ursa who were quietly talking amongst themselves. 

Other than that, there was no one else at the table. The princess had not entered and neither had her father. It wasn't like Zuko to be this late to a dinner. Unless he was in trouble? Her Kyoshi instincts took over and she stood abruptly, prepared to rush to wherever Zuko was when suddenly the door opened. 

Suki wasn't sure what she expected the crown princess to look like, but being what had to to be an exact replica of Azula in her youth was not what she pictured. Her hair was a little lighter than her father's and her eyes weren't as golden as his either. But she was Fire Lord Zuko's daughter, without question. 

The rest of the table stood to greet her. Izumi wasn't alone, a handmaiden had escorted her. The servant bowed and made a hasty exit. "Hello my dear. Thank you for joining us," Ursa said as sweet as sugar. 

Izumi said nothing as she walked over to her designated seat only to stop when seeing Suki. Her eyes widened with awe. "Oh yes my dear. I'd like you to meet Captain Suki of the Kyoshi Warriors. Captain Suki here was originally the leader of the Kyoshi Guard that protected your father. She fought in the battle of Ozai, even saving your dear Uncle Sokka and Auntie Beifong. Izumi said nothing, but she nodded in understanding before sitting down beside Suki. 

A bell rang and servants immediately brought out a trove of food. Suki had lived a good life since she had left, but she definitely missed the meals in the fire nation. The spice of the Earth Kingdom was nothing compared to the spices of the Fire Nation. Jook, cowpig served at a perfect medium, salads, toasted bread with garlic, and Suki's favorite, fire flakes. It had been so long since she had had fire flakes. None of her local vendors carried it, none of them even believed that it was a real food. 

After the servants left and Ursa had made a toast welcoming Suki, everyone began to dig in. Both Suki and Izumi reached for the fire flakes at the same time causing them to awkwardly brush hands. "I'm sorry your majesty. Please go ahead." 

She was hoping that maybe Izumi would say thank you, that Izumi would tell Suki to go ahead as well. Instead all she received was a thankful nod. 

With her first attempt failing, she tried her second attempt. "Are fire flakes you're favorite?" She asked softly. Izumi nodded. "They're mine too. I haven't had them in so long. Since before you were born." Izumi's eyes widened as if to say that it'd been a really long time to not eat fire flakes. 

When Izumi gave her nothing, Suki shrunk down a little in her confidence. "Does your dad often run late?" 

Izumi nodded, still avoiding Suki's gaze. 

"Does he miss meals?" 

Izumi nodded again, finding her bowl of jook very interesting considering she wasn't looking at anything but her bowl. 

"Do you think he will come tonight?" 

Izumi shook her head. 

"I guess that's a good thing," Suki sighed, relieved. "You see him and I had a fight and I really scared him. He looked like a deergazelle in the lamplight. Can you imagine the brave, revered, fire Lord being afraid of little old me? He must've thought I was Kyoshi herself," she joked. 

To her surprise, Izumi giggled. It was quiet and a little hoarse like she hadn't spoken in weeks. "I know, right?" Suki continued until she heard the clanking of silverware. 

Both Izumi and Suki turned to see Ursa smiling at them fondly with a tear in her eye. Izumi quickly shut up and pushed herself from the table and ran out the door she had entered. Suki sat there with a dumb look on her face before turning back to Ursa asking, "did I do something wrong?" 

Ursa was still smiling in the direction Izumi had run off to. "No dear. Quite the opposite." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small chapter about Suki and Izumi's first interaction. 
> 
> Please comment on what you think ") 
> 
> Stay safe and wear a mask please.


	5. Crying Royalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The royal family has always been revered for their stoic nature only a few are lucky enough to see the face behind the mask.

Zuko wasn't sure what to expect arriving late to dinner, but he certainly wasn't expecting to see his daughter sprinting out of the dining hall. She was running so fast, she didn't even see her father until she collided with him. 

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Zuko asked, kneeling down to pick up his daughter from off the floor. She looked distraught, it was clear she was crying based on her red, puffy eyes. Izumi shook her head. "Come on," he said softly, lifting her up into his arms. "Lets take a walk. It's not to late, maybe the turtleducks are out. They've told me just how much they miss you." Zuko waited for his daughter to respond with her typical 'Turtleducks don't talk daddy', but was only met with silence. Zuko sighed to himself as he continued on his path with Izumi in his arms. 

The garden was unusually quiet despite the clear night sky. The Fire Nation would be lively and vibrant during nights like these. Young firebenders would be playing in the street, vendors would be selling their wares. The echoes of laughter and vendors negotiating for a fair price usually found their way to the palace garden, keeping the turtleducks awake. But with the eerie silence, the turtleducks had turned in for the night. 

Zuko sat there with his daughter in total silence. Since the day Zuko took Izumi to see her mother, the young girl hadn't spoken a word. Whatever goodbye she whispered to Mai had been the last things she'd chosen to say. "It's a beautiful night don't you think?" Izumi wordlessly nodded. "Are you ever going to talk to me again?" This time Izumi shook her head. "Do... do you hate me?" Izumi shook her head again. Zuko was relieved, he couldn't imagine what his life would be like if his daughter, the greatest thing to ever bless his life, hated him. 

There is a pause as Zuko tries to come up with what to ask her next. Nodding and shacking her head has been the extent of his conversations with her. He knows what he wants to ask her. But he's scared he already knows the answer. More than anything, he wants to ask his daughter if she'd rather mom be here than him. Its a terrible question to ask an eight year old, but the voice in the back of his head is begging him to find out. Izumi loved her mother more than she did him. He knew it, she knew it, the whole staff knew it. For years, if something happened to Izumi, it was straight to mommy. Daddy was a second thought unless it came to firebending. Even then, Izumi went to Mai first to make sure he would be proud. 

But Zuko has always been proud of Izumi. There's nothing in the entire world that he's more proud of than her. "You know that I love you more than anything in the whole wide world right?" Izumi shook her head and Zuko felt his heart burn. It was like being struck by lightning all over again. "I..." Zuko was frozen with a lack of words. Would telling her she's mistaken even matter at this point? Clearly something inside Izumi has made her believe that he doesn't love her. "Is it because of that word you heard those mean old guys say?" Izumi nodded. 

That was it! Zuko was going to hunt down anyone who ever used the word bastard in reference to his daughter and burn them at the stake. They deserved punishment! Because of them, Izumi believed that she wasn't loved by her own father. Something that she should just know couldn't-wasn't-true. Zuko dropped down onto is knees in front of his daughter. "Sweetie, i swear on your mother that you are, and always will be the proudest achievement in my life. You make my days unbelievably better and I'm so lucky to have such an amazing daughter like you." Izumi stared at him with tears in her eyes. "So please... just... just talk to me. Tell me how to fix this. I'll do anything," he begged. And Zuko didn't beg. 

Izumi started to cry. "I want my mommy back!" She yelled as she stood from the bench and took off towards her room. Zuko slumped forward and tucked his knees to his chest and silently cried. 

He looked up into the night sky at the brightest star, the same one he had told Izumi was her mother. "I don't know what to do Mai? You were always better at talking to Izumi than me. And now Suki's back... everything is a mess. I wish you were here, you'd be able to clean this mess up. You always knew how to make life here better for everyone, not just me. I just... miss you." The star gave a slight twinkle and in that moment, it felt like Mai was listening, that she had heard him and knew that he could fix his mess. " _Ugh Zuko. You think you have it tough? I'm stuck up here with your entire family. Sozin and Roku legit cannot be in the same room together. Azulon is staring at me all creepy like. But at least Lu Ten and his mother are here to help. They've been looking after Ravi for us. I wish you didn't have to suffer like this, spirits know you've suffered long enough. But now Izumi is suffering and she needs love. Just give her all the love you can give and make sure she knows that I am always with her."_ Zuko imagined Mai saying to him. He smiled up at the stars, imagining Mai looking down at him just rolling her eyes, trying to hide her smile. "I'll do everything I can to make her see."

* * *

Like all the times Suki found herself eavesdropping, she truly didn't mean to spy on Zuko. She had left the table right after Izumi had slammed the door shut. Ursa had told Suki that Izumi hadn't laughed since Mai had passed. It was just nice to finally hear her voice once more. So, Suki had decided to follow Izumi and let her know that laughter was important and a good first step in the healing process. She wanted to try to get to know the princess, find out what made her smile or what made her sad. Lost in her thoughts, her feet took her to the Firelord's private gardens. There, she watched from the shadows as Zuko begged his daughter to talk to him. And when Izumi shouted that she wanted her mother back, Izumi understood where Izumi was in the healing process... anger. 

She knew just how to help Izumi.

If it were nine years ago, she'd be by Zuko's side comforting him. Despite years apart, she knew just how hurt he'd be feeling. She may not know the extent of his relationship with the princess, but she knows that Zuko would be nothing but an amazingly loving father. So instead of listening to her heart, she listened to her head which was telling her to find Izumi.

It wasn't the most difficult thing in the world to do. Izumi left an obvious trail of terrified and disgruntled servants as well as a loud echo of crying that was amplified in the extravagant halls of the Royal Palace. Eventually she lost her, only to find the trail again in the form of a servant pointing to a slightly ajar door. Suki took a deep breath before slowly opening the door, giving it a light tap. "Princess?"

Izumi didn't respond. Suki only heard the shuffling of footsteps receding further into the dark room. "I'm not here to yell at you. I just came with an offer."

A low flame appeared from behind the closet door. Suki gawked at the little girl before her. If not for her age and standard orange flame, the girl standing before here wold be a dead ringer for her father's sister. Izumi glowered at Suki. "This is the royalty suite for the princess. Go away!" Izumi and Suki stared at one another until Izumi finally caved and gave Suki a royal look that said, "speak".

"I was brought her because your grandmother thinks you need protection. I was friends with your father a long time ago, back during the war." She paused, hoping to draw Izumi in. It seemed to work since her flame dwindled. Suki wondered how much she knew of her father's life before he became Fire Lord. No doubt her parents ever said anything about her. "You know he even broke me out of prison. And then your mom had to save us both from..." she paused. Suki had no idea what was going on with Azula. Was she stable? Did Izumi know about her aunt's misguided deeds? Or even her fathers? "...from some misguided people."

Izumi's eyes widened. "Whoa... mommy saved you? And daddy?" 

Suki smiled in celebration. She had gotten Izumi to talk. "Yes. She saved both of us. And your dad saved me. If you'd like, I'll tell you all about it tomorrow when we officially begin."

"B-begin what?"

"Your training as a Kyoshi Warrior." Training was a very generous term for what they were actually going to do. Izumi was so filled with anger that there was no way she could begin to properly train as a warrior. She must rid herself of this anger and only after can she truly begin to train as a Kyoshi Warrior. 

"Auntie Ty Lee already taught me some stuff.'

Suki smirked, she had been expecting that type of reaction. Now all she had to do was play her trump card. "And who do you think trained her?" Izumi's mouth dropped and a sort of joy returned to her eyes. "Now, meet me in the courtyard tomorrow after breakfast and we'll begin." Izumi nodded eagerly. It couldn't be this easy could it? "And on more thing-"

"Hmmmm I thought I heard voices coming from my room," a cold, terrifying voice said from behind Suki. It was a voice she would never forget. "Here I am, returning home from a lovely stay at Ember Island only to find my dear Zuzu crying in the garden with his turtleducks. I was certain that a naughty girl was the cause, but now... I'm not sure which one was the cause." 

Suki shivered as Azula looked her over. No doubt looking for any signs of vulnerability, or perhaps wondering if she still had the marks on her shoulder and leg from when Azula burnt her. Last time they had seen each other, Azula nearly killed her. And if it wasn't for Zuko's quick thinking with a flame shield to block the princesses fire blade, Suki would be dead. It was that night where she started seeing him differently. Watching him berate himself for letting her get hurt even though it was her job. Seeing him refuse to leave her side as she recovered from her burns, and held her hand as she drifted to sleep. But Zuko wasn't here to save her now. 

"Zumi, go find your dad and talk to him. He's very sad and your little turtleducks are getting upset. Now go," Azula pushed Izumi out of the room. "Go and I'll come find you." She slid the door shut and turned to face her once enemy. "So Zuzu's little play thing has come back to what? Show him what he's been missing out on? Finally get your piece of him now that his wife is dead? Oh Suzi, how low you've fallen.

"It's Suki not Suzi Azula," Suki growled.

"Isn't it," Azula shrugged non-caring. "I mean look at yourself, dressed up in your dusty old armor, trying to relive the glory days. Hoping my brother is emotionally unstable enough to fuck you again? Shin and all the rest just haven't lived up to him have they? That's why your back aren't you!? To steal him from us. From Izumi!" Azula engulfed her left hand in flame as a flaming blade appeared in her right. 

Suki was to shocked to speak. Firstly, how did Azula know about Shin? Or the others for that matter. Secondly, did Azula (and maybe everyone else) think she was here to fuck Zuko now that Mai was out of the picture? It stung to even consider that to be the truth. She was in a healthy relationship for a year before coming here! Lastly was the fact that she was in more ceremonial armor than functional. Not to mention she was very out of practice. Azula would make quick work of her. But she wasn't going to go out without a fight. 

"I'm not scared of you anymore Azula." She whipped out her bladed fan and prepared herself for battle. 

"You should be. I may not be as merciless as I used to be. But i will be damned if I let you take Zuzu away from me! Not again!" Azula was shouting, tears forming in her eyes. 

Suki dropped her defensive stance. "Again?"

And that's when everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert!!!!!!! Azula is my absolute fav character in ATLA or LOK. It's not even close. That's a lie, I'm constantly flip flopping between her and Zuko. Probably because as a teen i related to both of them. But post (sorta sane) Azula is something I've always wanted to see and love to explore in my writing. Def will be seeing more of her.


	6. Visits and Understanding?

Suki woke to the sound of muffled voices and blurred outlines. Her body felt like it had been rendered completely useless. There was also a small ringing in her ears as the back of her head throbbed with pain. What the fuck happened?

"...s'fine. It's handled." She heard what sounded like Zuko's voice coming from her left. She wasn't sure if it was him though. A few muffled voices came from somewhere in the room before being silenced by the one beside her. "How could you say that!" Now she knew it was him. She started to smile and immediately, she felt a warm hand placed over hers. Zuko gave her hand a gentle squeeze of reassurance.

"... away… safer…" she heard a different male voice coming from further off in the distance.

"I'm not sending Azula away. She's been finally getting better! I need her here… she needs me. I won't just send her away." Zuko said firmly. There was no room for question.

Suki groaned, finally coming to full conscience. She started to try to pull herself up when Zuko and another blurry person came to her assistance.

"Don't push yourself to hard sweetie," Ursa said, as finally the blurriness started to fade and she could make out the older woman. "You took quite the hit."

"Yeah.. Azula decided to try and take me out." She responded, reaching up to feel the back of her head.

"Assassin's," Zuko corrected. "It wasn't Azula. She was able to hold them off in time for the guards to get there."

"What do you mean assassin's? Zuko, there hasn't been an attack in years!" Suki was mad. How could he just say it was assassin's when he wasn't there? Azula was going to kill her.

"They weren't here to kill anyone. Lest they get in the way." Zuko glared at her. His hand was no longer on hers. "It was a kidnapping attempt. They wanted to take members of the royal family and hold them for ransom."

"Why would they want Azula?"

Zuko sat back in his chair as a dark look crossed his face. "They didn't want her. They wanted Izumi." Suki was speechless. Was Ursa being honest when she told Nera that Izumi needed to be protected?

When no one spoke, Zuko took it as a sign to continue. "It's no secret that Izumi is the direct and only heir to the throne. Azula has abdicated her role as royal princess as part of her condition to come home, so she can never rule. Izumi is my whole world. Taking her would mean-"

"The kidnappers would be able to control you. You'd be a puppet Fire Lord." Suki concluded.

"Yes. But Mai was always with Izumi… always. Not that they didn't try when she was a baby. But they were stopped when Azula returned. Azula and Izumi have always had a… unique bond. Izumi feels that Azula is the person she can trust most, with all her secrets…" Zuko stopped speaking, as if coming to an obvious conclusion. "But only those here in the palace truly know how much they're together." He rose suddenly, "I knew there was a reason they went to Azula's room." He looked around the shadows. "Lin!" He shouted and before Suki could ask why he was yelling at a shadow, a girl dressed in Kyoshi Warrior armor stepped out from the shadows.

This girl must have been the new Captain as she was wearing the symbolic crown of the Kyoshi Warrior Captain. "Yes my Lord?" Lin asked with a deep bow. But what surprised Suki was her outfit. It didn't look green like everyone else's. It was a charcoal color with a royal red trim.

"With me." He said as he started walking towards the door. Lin was in stride with him within seconds. "Time to start an investigation. And this remains in house. No one outside this room. Is that understood?"

"Yes my Lord. We'll figure this out."

Zuko was now standing at the door. "Good. I know you'll take care of this discreetly. Report to me with any information you discover."

And as quickly as she ascended from the shadows, Lin stepped back into the darkness outside the door and vanished.

Suki watched as Zuko stood frozen by the door. It was clear he was debating himself on whether or not he should leave or not. Eventually he decided when he claimed he needed to check on Izumi and take care of some paperwork.

"Don't judge him too harshly," Ursa whispered once Zuko left. She ushered Suki to lay down as she draped a hot towelette on her head. "His relationship with my daughter is–has been very complicated. He thinks only he can save her. But in truth, the only one that can save Azula is herself. And she's been trying." Ursa sighed as she slowly heated her hands to a soothing temperature and held them just above Suki's muscles.

Suki sighed, feeling the heating effects on her muscles. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of her. Whatever Ursa was doing, she had no inclination to ask her to stop.

"I just hope she sees how much she has improved. It seems each step she takes, she takes the next step in a completely different direction." Suki wanted to correct her about how the quote went. But knowing that Ursa was talking about Azula, it was probably more accurate. Plus she was starting to feel really sleepy. "Just… please don't forget that she loves Izumi more than anything in this world." With Ursa's final words, Suki feel into a comfortable slumber.

* * *

_"So how's retirement treating you?" Katara asked as she helped Suki clean the boys' mess. Boys as in only Sokka and Aang. Since she left the Fire Nation almost one year ago, she made sure to remove all traces of her past with Zuko. Plus he was probably busy preparing for the Fire Princess's first birthday. First birthdays were more celebrated than the actual birth. A Fire Nation child's first birthday is thought to be quite important, as what happens on that day is thought to influence his or her entire future. The parents are supposed to place the baby in the center of symbolic objects such as coins, books and dolls, and whichever item a child reaches for first is considered an indication of his or her path in life. And this child being Fire Nation royalty, and the first one born since the end of the war. She was the future of peace._

_"Retirement is lovely," she lied. In truth, her retirement sucked. All she wanted to do was be there for Zuko. To feel him again. To taste him. To–_

_"That's a lie." Toph announced herself, calling out from behind them. "You hate it." She said with a smirk._

_Suki gave in. "Fine I hate it. I want to be out there. I want to be back in the Fire Nation with Zu-" she stopped herself from finishing. No need to divulge her failed relationship with their friendly neighborhood Fire Lord with her first ex's sister and the girl who had a not so obvious, obvious crush on her ex as well. But it broke her heart to stay away._

_"Sure he has his hands full though," Toph said, for the first time since Suki had known her, she had actually not picked up her emotions. That, or she didn't want to call her out._

_The three of them worked on dessert in silence after Toph's comment. Katara knew that Suki didn't like to discuss him. She couldn't figure out why, but Suki was certain that she'd get it out of Zuko when they went to Izumi's first life celebration. Katara was always the person Zuko could confide in. Because out of everyone, Katara was the one that could always get an honest answer out of him without resorting to shouting or the threat of burying him in a pile of dirt._

_"You sure you don't want to come?" Katara asked as Toph had challenged Sokka to an arm wrestling match with Aang as the ref. "I think that whatever happened between you and Zuko would be better if you guys talked about it."_

_"Nothing happened. Just needed to find myself. You know?"_

* * *

"See. I told you she wasn't dead," Suki shifted from her memory as she slowly gained consciousness. She heard childish whispering. "Yes, yes. Kyoshi warriors can't die. They're fearless."

The voice sounded awfully like Azula. "But she's gonna be okay?" The softer, childlike voice asked.

"Hmmm I guess so. Thankfully your amazing auntie was there to save the day."

No doubt now that it was Azula and Izumi. But why would they come to check on her? "You're pretty cool Auntie!"

Suki heard a light chuckle. If she wasn't so exhausted she would have sat up to make sure that the person standing just a few feet away was truly Azula. "I suppose I am. Well why don't you start practicing those forms I showed you the other day and I'll be out to check on you soon."

"Okay!" Izumi answered as her footsteps started to sound distant.

"Make sure Lin or Ty Lee are with you." Azula shouted back down the hall.

This was it. Azula was going to come finish the job. She was finally going to enact her sadistic revenge. Azula was going to–"I'm sorry."–apologize?

Nothing but the chirping of cicadas echoed through the room as Azula and Suki both remained silent. Suki, pretending to still be asleep as to not have to deal with this. And Azula, too unsure of what to do next.

"Just… don't break my niece's heart." With that, Azula turned and ran out of the room, leaving Suki alone with her thoughts and Azula's words.

She had already broken one royalty's heart. She wasn't going to do it again. Even if it killed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has it really been a month since I updated? 2020... What can I say. My state is on fire, we need to register to vote (please do!), I'm getting burnt out at my job (worked 20/22 days so far). 
> 
> But I love to write Zuki and I love this world and even though I suffered from some writes block, I know that I am pleased with how this chapter turned out. 
> 
> Hope to update sooner than this one!


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